Letter to the Dead: I Have Found Love Again

Hello Sweetheart:

How has your day been? I hope they are feeding you with your favorite meal: Jollof rice and grilled chicken. It was like yesterday that you departed this world unplanned.  A surgery that was meant to be simple led to your death. Your young children and I were and are still devastated by your untimely death. Our marriage was young. I was young. You were young.  We had two young children. We talked about our dreams and felt we had the world ahead of us. We were so much in love. You were a caring, supportive, and dependable father and husband. To think that the negligence of another human being could have cut your life short is hard to take but what can the children and I do? We miss your care, your touch, your intelligence, and your support.

Your death has shown me the good, the bad and the ugly sides of humans. Through it all, we are still standing.

Recall your burial? Emotions were high. I gave you my words publicly and privately, especially each time I visited your burial ground. I promised that I would never fall in love with another man again. You would be my last, I had said to you many times. I promised to devote my time and focus on raising our children.  I promised to keep watching our favorite movies, listen to our favorite music and keep your things intact in the home we shared. I was convinced there would be no other like you!

For the last three years, I had kept my promise. I have listened to our favorite song, Just the two of us by Grover Washington Jnr every night. I have told our kids your favorite stories daily. They have your mannerisms. T as you referred to our youngest, looks so much like you. K, our oldest has your brains. They are both doing well in school. They ask me questions about you daily: What was daddy like? Would daddy have liked my hairstyle? If daddy was here, he would have bought burgers and fries for us.

Hmmmnnnn, … we miss you dear!

There has been a recent development.  I met a man at work that reminds me of you. I have known him now for three months and he makes me feel the way I felt when I was with you. He is funny, supportive, caring, intelligent, good looking, hardworking and understanding.  He has not rushed me into a relationship because I told him I wanted to seek your consent first. I owe you that!

Babe, I am just 30 years old. It has been tough: The many lonely nights; the days I had to take the children to the doctors for medical attention; the days I needed someone to talk to or to hold me lovingly. I have cried alone many nights and days but must still soldier on as if all is well. The loneliness is real my dear.

I ask that you understand.  You will always be my true love that left so early and so young. I will continue to converse with you and visit your burial ground with our children. You will always be a part of me, and I will always love you.

I have no idea what the future holds for me and how this journey will end. However, I must try and embark on it with your blessing. On my part, I will try to make it a success.  I ask for your support, prayers and that you continue to love me.

So, my love, thank you for all you mean to us. I will miss “you and I” but there will always be “us”. I am in love again and I know you will not stand in the way of my happiness!